Ryan communicates with the baby by getting me to open my mouth and yelling down my throat.
"My name is Ryan, baby! You can come out now!"
No, I’m not pregnant, just overstimulated.
2 hours ago
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
*Chirp chirp*
Excuse me a minute while I clear away the crickets and I'll be right with you...
Right. That's better. So, how are you both? lol Surprisingly, all is well in my world. I guess I should start at the top and break it down in to small bits so I don't miss anything.
Me
26w 1 day today and all still looking good. I'm eagerly awaiting the magical 28 week mark when I think I will finally exhale properly for the first time in 6.5 months. Of course I'd rather see 35+ but beggars can't be choosers now, can they? Still haven't exactly worked out where this child will be sleeping when it makes an appearance or what we will call it so may need to pull my head out of the sand about all that shortly.
Matthew
Only 5 & a bit weeks left of Grade 1. Eek. This time last year I was positively giddy with the anticipation of him leaving his vague, idiotic Prep teacher behind - this year, I am tinged with sadness. He has had the most wonderful teacher this year. She has been firm & consistant, yet kind and empathetic at the same time. She shows a genuine interest in all her students and never fails to reward them for a job well done. Matthew has flourished under her care and enjoyed school so much more this year. He also has a wonderful class of friends as well. Last year he teamed up with a couple of boys who completely managed to erode the small amount of self confidence he did have about himself but thankfully with the help of some lovely friends this year, he seems much happier in himself.
I'm scared of what Grade 2 has in store for him. I hope it is another positive year.
Ryan
Ryan continues to challenge and exhaust me yet I fall more in love with him everyday. He's lucky he has that award winning smile - I'm convinced it's some sort of inbuilt survival mechanism. Lately he's shown a keen interest in learning to write so we've run with that but lucky for him that school is just a few short months away. He claims to want to play rugby next year, which surprises me as he's never expressed any interest to participate in anything that his brother wasn't already doing. We'll see how it goes - if nothing else, the local union club will be grateful for our donation of registration fees I guess.
My lovely husband
T is working hard picking up the slack for his unemployed wife, for which will be forever grateful. He seems genuinely happy at the end of his working day now, which is a relief after being plagued with a string of bosses over the last few years who failed to notice & appreciate his hard work. I've put the pressure on him a bit to do as much travelling as he can during November so that I can be certain he will be nearby in case of any early arrivals so I suspect I've only added to his pre-christmas stress. I do love you, dearest - thank you. xx
I'm not sure if it's the pregnancy hormones but at a time when usually we are just gearing up for the Christmas chaos, this year I'm beginning to feel the pressure easing already and am looking forward to it all as I hope we can just slow down and enjoy doing nothing over the break. I plan to spend as much time as I can with my little family of 4 - just *being*, instead of *doing* for a change. Life is about to get far more hectic & busy in 2010 and I need to remind myself to try to slow down and live in the now.
Right. That's better. So, how are you both? lol Surprisingly, all is well in my world. I guess I should start at the top and break it down in to small bits so I don't miss anything.
Me
26w 1 day today and all still looking good. I'm eagerly awaiting the magical 28 week mark when I think I will finally exhale properly for the first time in 6.5 months. Of course I'd rather see 35+ but beggars can't be choosers now, can they? Still haven't exactly worked out where this child will be sleeping when it makes an appearance or what we will call it so may need to pull my head out of the sand about all that shortly.
Matthew
Only 5 & a bit weeks left of Grade 1. Eek. This time last year I was positively giddy with the anticipation of him leaving his vague, idiotic Prep teacher behind - this year, I am tinged with sadness. He has had the most wonderful teacher this year. She has been firm & consistant, yet kind and empathetic at the same time. She shows a genuine interest in all her students and never fails to reward them for a job well done. Matthew has flourished under her care and enjoyed school so much more this year. He also has a wonderful class of friends as well. Last year he teamed up with a couple of boys who completely managed to erode the small amount of self confidence he did have about himself but thankfully with the help of some lovely friends this year, he seems much happier in himself.
I'm scared of what Grade 2 has in store for him. I hope it is another positive year.
Ryan
Ryan continues to challenge and exhaust me yet I fall more in love with him everyday. He's lucky he has that award winning smile - I'm convinced it's some sort of inbuilt survival mechanism. Lately he's shown a keen interest in learning to write so we've run with that but lucky for him that school is just a few short months away. He claims to want to play rugby next year, which surprises me as he's never expressed any interest to participate in anything that his brother wasn't already doing. We'll see how it goes - if nothing else, the local union club will be grateful for our donation of registration fees I guess.
My lovely husband
T is working hard picking up the slack for his unemployed wife, for which will be forever grateful. He seems genuinely happy at the end of his working day now, which is a relief after being plagued with a string of bosses over the last few years who failed to notice & appreciate his hard work. I've put the pressure on him a bit to do as much travelling as he can during November so that I can be certain he will be nearby in case of any early arrivals so I suspect I've only added to his pre-christmas stress. I do love you, dearest - thank you. xx
I'm not sure if it's the pregnancy hormones but at a time when usually we are just gearing up for the Christmas chaos, this year I'm beginning to feel the pressure easing already and am looking forward to it all as I hope we can just slow down and enjoy doing nothing over the break. I plan to spend as much time as I can with my little family of 4 - just *being*, instead of *doing* for a change. Life is about to get far more hectic & busy in 2010 and I need to remind myself to try to slow down and live in the now.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
2010
It occured to me today that my baby will start school in just 4 short months. We received an information pack from the school the other day and will be told who his teacher will be in early December. I'm not ready.
He seems so much younger than Matthew. Matthew was 5.5 years old when he started - Ryan will only be 4y 10months. Plus he's little. The size 6 shirts swim on him, which makes him look even more adorable. I am predicting tears on the first day, from both of us, which didn't happen on his brother's first day. Matthew spent most of his toddler & pre-school years in daycare whereas Ryan has had far more one-on-on time with me at home. I've recently discovered that his best friend from daycare will be going to the same school as him so we've tried to arrange that the boys will be placed in the same class, although there are no guarantees.
And for our part at home here, we are going to help with the transition to big school by very helpfully having another baby. We've carefully planned it so that it is due to arrive in the first few weeks of the school year - perhaps if we are really lucky we could aim for the first day. Wouldn't that be nice?
We broke the news to the boys the other day - Matthew immediately stated he hoped for a boy (twins if possible) so that they could finally play TMNT without having to imagine the extra two participants. Ryan was fairly unfazed about the whole situation, probably because he has no idea what he is in for. The only thing that seemed to really ruffle him was Matthew explaining exactly how the baby was likely to find it's way out into the real world - Ryan immediately saw how ludicrous that situation would be (and rightly so, I say) and assumed that we were taking the piss. He hates being the butt of the joke (pardon the pun).
So there you go. The first few months of 2010 are likely to be busy and exciting times here at The Shack. Fingers crossed both events go smoothly...
(P.S - I have been sporadically blogging about this pregnancy but just not posting. Feel free to read all related posts here.)
He seems so much younger than Matthew. Matthew was 5.5 years old when he started - Ryan will only be 4y 10months. Plus he's little. The size 6 shirts swim on him, which makes him look even more adorable. I am predicting tears on the first day, from both of us, which didn't happen on his brother's first day. Matthew spent most of his toddler & pre-school years in daycare whereas Ryan has had far more one-on-on time with me at home. I've recently discovered that his best friend from daycare will be going to the same school as him so we've tried to arrange that the boys will be placed in the same class, although there are no guarantees.
And for our part at home here, we are going to help with the transition to big school by very helpfully having another baby. We've carefully planned it so that it is due to arrive in the first few weeks of the school year - perhaps if we are really lucky we could aim for the first day. Wouldn't that be nice?
We broke the news to the boys the other day - Matthew immediately stated he hoped for a boy (twins if possible) so that they could finally play TMNT without having to imagine the extra two participants. Ryan was fairly unfazed about the whole situation, probably because he has no idea what he is in for. The only thing that seemed to really ruffle him was Matthew explaining exactly how the baby was likely to find it's way out into the real world - Ryan immediately saw how ludicrous that situation would be (and rightly so, I say) and assumed that we were taking the piss. He hates being the butt of the joke (pardon the pun).
So there you go. The first few months of 2010 are likely to be busy and exciting times here at The Shack. Fingers crossed both events go smoothly...
(P.S - I have been sporadically blogging about this pregnancy but just not posting. Feel free to read all related posts here.)
Halfway
Meet *blast of trumpets please*... Fergus III:
Once again, I'm a little late in writing this post. We had our 20 week scan done just over a week ago and since then I've been terribly busy with school holidays, eating cake and cleaning the house from all the mother fucking dust storms that keep appearing. It's been lots of fun.
Anyway, the scan went surprisingly well. For whatever reason I was pretty nervous about it all. I guess because up to this point everything has progressed without any major hiccups and as we all know there is no such thing as a free lunch. I'm pleased to report that the sonographer didn't even slip up with a mention of the gender so we are still blissfully unaware of the sex.
I'm still predicting boy, for the simple reason that I just can't imagine myself the mother of a girl. It seems so surreal. On the other hand, this pregnancy has been completely different to Matthew & Ryan's - I was definitely sicker in the first few weeks, my cravings have changed (I haven't once wondered just what raspberry cordial and milk would taste like this time around...) and orange juice just isn't doing it for me at all - so perhaps it could be a girl. Anyway, I care not. Healthy & full term would suit me just fine.
Sadly the photo above is the best the sonographer could do. It had it's face pressed firmly up against the placenta and wasn't moving for love or money. Makes it look kind of evil. My placenta is also anterior so that would explain why I didn't feel movements until nearly 19 weeks - the good news is that it is up nice & high so at this stage still on track for another VBAC.
Next stop - 24 weeks.
Once again, I'm a little late in writing this post. We had our 20 week scan done just over a week ago and since then I've been terribly busy with school holidays, eating cake and cleaning the house from all the mother fucking dust storms that keep appearing. It's been lots of fun.
Anyway, the scan went surprisingly well. For whatever reason I was pretty nervous about it all. I guess because up to this point everything has progressed without any major hiccups and as we all know there is no such thing as a free lunch. I'm pleased to report that the sonographer didn't even slip up with a mention of the gender so we are still blissfully unaware of the sex.
I'm still predicting boy, for the simple reason that I just can't imagine myself the mother of a girl. It seems so surreal. On the other hand, this pregnancy has been completely different to Matthew & Ryan's - I was definitely sicker in the first few weeks, my cravings have changed (I haven't once wondered just what raspberry cordial and milk would taste like this time around...) and orange juice just isn't doing it for me at all - so perhaps it could be a girl. Anyway, I care not. Healthy & full term would suit me just fine.
Sadly the photo above is the best the sonographer could do. It had it's face pressed firmly up against the placenta and wasn't moving for love or money. Makes it look kind of evil. My placenta is also anterior so that would explain why I didn't feel movements until nearly 19 weeks - the good news is that it is up nice & high so at this stage still on track for another VBAC.
Next stop - 24 weeks.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Sweet relief
16.1 - and we still have a heartbeat, together with a very active little fetus (or is that foetus? I never know...) So our first major milestone of 15 weeks has been reached. My lovely OB has set me a new goal of 20 weeks and she appears to be rather amused by my pessimistic attitude to booking appointments too far in advance. She asked me today if I booked in at the hospital, to which I could only snort in reply. Hell, I haven't even booked my morphology scan in yet.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
A stitch in time
Corny, hey? But true all the same. It was just in time - my cervix was about 1cm dilated when my OB put the stitch in, so I guess that explains the nasty pains I was having leading up to it.
Looking back now, the whole procedure went quite well although at the time, I felt emotionally and physically fucked. Normally I tolerate general anaesthethics quite well and love nothing better than a good hospital stay. What's not to love? The endless uninterrupted TV viewing, peace and quite to complete a crossword, food delivered to your bed (I'm a product of 5 years at boarding school. I actually like the taste of bland, mass produced institutional food - it's comforting) and every so often someone comes around and shoots me full of morphine.
This time however, there was no morphine to take the edge off. Only panadol, which is not quite the same. And I felt shakey and unsettled, fidgety and very anxious. I seriously considered discharging myself as I had a strong urge to be at home, in the comfort of my own bed surrounded by my own possessions. My cannula was badly sited and becoming quite painful and it took a great deal of self control not to remove the bloody thing myself. Eventually, I managed to convince myself that I needed to be there so my OB could do another scan the next morning to make sure we still had a heartbeat and I did manage to get a decent nights rest, which surprised me a great deal.
It's been 4 days since the stitch was inserted and only now can I say that I'm feeling far more human than I was and much less fragile. I can feel the stitch, it's not uncomfortable or painful in anyway but I definitely am aware that it is in. If I stand up too quickly, or sneeze/cough, I can feel a gentle tug so my mind is never far away from it.
I'm still second guessing every little twinge or niggle that I feel and am terrified that miscarriage is imminent but I think I'm slowly learning to relax a little bit and take one day at a time. I've not had anymore cramping or acheyness, which is very reassuring. Long may it continue. 15.1 weeks today. Yay me.
Looking back now, the whole procedure went quite well although at the time, I felt emotionally and physically fucked. Normally I tolerate general anaesthethics quite well and love nothing better than a good hospital stay. What's not to love? The endless uninterrupted TV viewing, peace and quite to complete a crossword, food delivered to your bed (I'm a product of 5 years at boarding school. I actually like the taste of bland, mass produced institutional food - it's comforting) and every so often someone comes around and shoots me full of morphine.
This time however, there was no morphine to take the edge off. Only panadol, which is not quite the same. And I felt shakey and unsettled, fidgety and very anxious. I seriously considered discharging myself as I had a strong urge to be at home, in the comfort of my own bed surrounded by my own possessions. My cannula was badly sited and becoming quite painful and it took a great deal of self control not to remove the bloody thing myself. Eventually, I managed to convince myself that I needed to be there so my OB could do another scan the next morning to make sure we still had a heartbeat and I did manage to get a decent nights rest, which surprised me a great deal.
It's been 4 days since the stitch was inserted and only now can I say that I'm feeling far more human than I was and much less fragile. I can feel the stitch, it's not uncomfortable or painful in anyway but I definitely am aware that it is in. If I stand up too quickly, or sneeze/cough, I can feel a gentle tug so my mind is never far away from it.
I'm still second guessing every little twinge or niggle that I feel and am terrified that miscarriage is imminent but I think I'm slowly learning to relax a little bit and take one day at a time. I've not had anymore cramping or acheyness, which is very reassuring. Long may it continue. 15.1 weeks today. Yay me.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Scared
Lots of women in second (& subsequent) pregnancies tend to forget how far along they are as they are busy dealing with exisiting children and the demands of everyday life. I am not one of them. I know exactly how far I am (14w 2d today, thank you very much.) and how much further I have to go.
I am rapidly approaching the dreaded 15 week mark - the point where we lost our last baby and I'm scared. I have been terribly anxious about this date and for a while there thought all was going so well. That we might just actually make it. That was until dead on 14 weeks, I started having a nasty heavy (and if I want to be completely honest) possibly achey feeling low down in my pelvis. Thankfully though, I've not had any other signs of impending miscarriage - no bleeding, no contractions, no discharge.
I am booked for a cervical stitch tomorrow. I just pray I can hang on long enough to see that through or at very least be well and truly under a general anaesthetic before it all goes pearshaped. I couldn't bear to relive the nightmare of a 2nd trimester miscarriage again.
I am rapidly approaching the dreaded 15 week mark - the point where we lost our last baby and I'm scared. I have been terribly anxious about this date and for a while there thought all was going so well. That we might just actually make it. That was until dead on 14 weeks, I started having a nasty heavy (and if I want to be completely honest) possibly achey feeling low down in my pelvis. Thankfully though, I've not had any other signs of impending miscarriage - no bleeding, no contractions, no discharge.
I am booked for a cervical stitch tomorrow. I just pray I can hang on long enough to see that through or at very least be well and truly under a general anaesthetic before it all goes pearshaped. I couldn't bear to relive the nightmare of a 2nd trimester miscarriage again.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
I got nutthin'
I've tried, I really have but I just can't find anything interesting to blog about.
So there you go, exciting stuff huh?
Weekends lately around here have consisted solely of shed building and catering lunches for the extra 6 or so helpers we've had, which doesn't exactly leave a lot of time for fun.
Sunday was actually the first time we've left the house as a family in months. Matthew heard from his PE teacher at school that the Brisbane Roar were having a Fun Day, so we trundled off to that since the weather has been so lovely. It was a really lovely day and thankfully the crowds weren't too out of control.
So there you go, exciting stuff huh?
Monday, August 3, 2009
You gotta see the baby...
12 weeks, 6 days. Proof that there actually something in there and I'm not vomiting my life away for no reason at all. How lovely.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
School holidays - Day two and I already want to kill myself.
We've been patching Matthew's left eye, on his Opthalmologists instructions. It's not going well. He can't see a fucking thing out of his right eye with his left one patched and so far, I have not been able to come up with one single activity he can actually see enough do to while away the hours.
My heart is breaking for him. And please - don't post telling me the good Lord above wouldn't give me more than I can handle, because sometimes he just fucking well does.
My heart is breaking for him. And please - don't post telling me the good Lord above wouldn't give me more than I can handle, because sometimes he just fucking well does.
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